It worked. Peace in the valley has been restored. I'll go be good and reclaim cables now.
Yarn: Less than one skein of Rowan Purelife Organic Cotton in 980/Madder from Chix With Stix.
Needles: Addi Turbo's, US 5/3.75 mm (Imagine. Me knitting with something smaller than a US 7. I'm astonished I was even able to lay my hands on them).
Pattern: From Seven Deadly S(p)ins "The Opposite of Wrath" package.
Interestingly, the chart didn't exactly match the written instructions. The latter had more detail than the former, so I went with them (besides, I was feeling pretty charted-out yesterday), adding a few modifications. To wit: the pattern calls for 3 rows of garter stitch border at the top and bottom, I went with 3 ridges; I wanted my cloth to be more square than the 8.5" by 9" the pattern specified, so I added rows of stockinette stitch just inside the garter stitch border, before and after the patterned rows.
Cute. Very cute. Enough cute. I'm ready to have fun again.